by snowangel75 on Apr-21-06 4:34 am
Hi there,I am new to this site, as I was checking sites out on antidepressants and found this one and boy am I glad.....as you see, i was in the same boat as most of you, about 4 years ago and seem to be finding myself entering that crazy world of antidepressants again, for my panic/anxiety disorder....Shortly after the birth of my first boy 7 years ago, i suffered my first panic attack......at the time, I felt like I was dying of a heart attack, but little did I know, i would rather have that feeling, than the feeling of going off the paxil........My anxiety and panic got to the point, where I felt like every symptom i had, i was dying of something, it also got to the point where, I was scared to be left alone with my newborn son, because of the fear of him getting hurt........this was not a fear of me hurting him, but just dread of something happening to him while in my care.....so my doctor decided to subscribe me paxil..........the worst mistake ever..........at first, ofcourse the medicine was a god sent......i felt so much better.......i was back to the person I was before my first panic attack........my husband and I decided to have another baby 2 years later and then it all started again.....not once, did my doctor diagnose me with postpartum depression......just chalked everything up to panic and anxiety and continued to increase my paxil dosage and prescribe me clonazepram for the anxiety attacks...........so after being on paxil and clonzepram for 5 yrs......it all started to go downhill....I was constantly tired, didn't have energy, no sexual desire and it was affecting my family life..........my husband and inlaws considered me lazy and everything was just in my head and didn't need the meds........please keep in mind, that I was a stay at home mom, taking care of a 2 children, 24x7 because of the lack of help from my husband........then i became addicted to percocet..........i had never felt so much energy, when taking the percocet, I would be up at 3 in the morning, cleaning the laundry room, meals were always prepared, housework always done, yard work always done and children taken care of.......I was becoming the model housewife......all thanks to percocet...........it got so bad, that I was stealing the percocet from my sister in law.....because i was running out of excuses for a script from my doctor...........but at the time, my family was happy to see that i had turned around.........but ofcourse they became suspicious when the pills missing started to go noticed.....I had never been one to take pills and now thank Paxil for ruining my life, because as you see, i have lost my family over this......my husband didn't understand what I was going through, even though I had told him, i knew i had a problem and needed help and left with the boys, and I couldn't find them for over 2 weeks....he used this addiction to paxil and percocet against me in the courts and now has full custody of my two boys.....This ofcourse brought me to the realization, that I needed to go off all meds to bring myself back to reality........well, ofcourse, my doctor doesn't tell me there are withdrawl symptoms of paxil and literally, i wanted to die..........had it all planned out............was going through the daily zaps in my head, constant sleeping, headaches, the feeling of going crazy.......avoided seeing my two boys on the weekends when i had visitation......it got to the point, where I did not leave my house for over 2 weeks and slept 23 hours out of the day............until my good neighbour took me to emerg and i found the doctor that saved my life.....I explained all the symptoms and he prescribed me prozac for 14 days and what do you know, the symptoms went away and i felt sane again.........My ex still has a hard time understanding what I went through and what paxil did to my body and mind..........that will never change...........but now I am faced with the anxiety attacks again, and feel like it is all starting again....and have been prescribed celexa, had an allergic reaciton to it, so now presribed effexor.....took just one pill, very, very sick and felt worse than before....so now stuck....on whether to continue taking it and hope for the best or just deal with it, without going insane.......thank god, i know have a supportive fiance, who understands what I am going through.......PLEASE HELP.....ANY ADVICE ON WHETHER I SHOULD CONTINUE TAKING THIS PILL THAT IS SUPPOSED TO MAKE ME FEEL BETTER OR JUST DEAL WITH THE DAILY ANXIETY AND PANIC AND HOPE IT GOES AWAY AT SOME POINT IN MY LIFE............