Jessica Simpson ain’t no SunTrust-er

September 11th, 2009. By AbiK

Sure as shootin’ Ms. Simpson doesn’t need a mortgage. But I noticed the TMZ.com video of Jessica Simpson doing her “I’m not an Indian-giver” quip in July. Seems the comment was in reference to whether she would take back the $100,000 boat (rumored to be a Malibu Wakesetter) she gave former boyfriend Tony Romo for his birthday. (Yes, file her comment under “what was she thinking?”)

But it got me thinking about things—and hey, it’s Friday—I could use a little levity. Clearly “Indian-giver” is not the most p.c. thing to say. And I’m betting it’s pretty much past anyone knowing or recalling what the phrase originally meant or was in reference to. So it’s time to come up with a more modern and applicable expression for Jess to use—one that can easily enter our lexicon of colloquialisms and mean “someone who gives something and then takes it back”.

And there it was…we’ve been talking about SunTrust this week, so this one just fell in my lap. Earlier in the week we blogged and reported about the SunTrust debacle where it’s alleged that SunTrust froze some HELOC (home equity line of credit) accounts—i.e., they (allegedly!) gave the line of credit, then took it back—while unsuspecting account holders were left wondering why. Yup, they got “SunTrusted”. (Of course, I’m pointing the finger at SunTrust as they’re the bank du jour with these things right now—but there’s a list of other bank names we could use.)

In Jess’ situation, her little quip would become “I’m not a SunTruster”…or “I’m not gonna SunTrust him”. On the flip side, someone on the receiving end could say “yeah man, he SunTrusted me”.

There’s plenty of alternatives out there, I’m sure. Perhaps you’ve got some other suggestions…

Tags: SunTrust

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